i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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