This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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