i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
