All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
