Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
