i would punch a child for taco bell
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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