dude i'm inner monologue high
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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