I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
