sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
