dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
