was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
