Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
