haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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