i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
