What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
