I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
