I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
