At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
