things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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