he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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