dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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