Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
