SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Michael Bay diarrhea
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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