I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
