Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
