My brain says no but my pants say off.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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