i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
