so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Randomize
