do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
