So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
