Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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