Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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