Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
