can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
