They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The air taste purple.
Randomize
