you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
