on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
