i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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