I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize