Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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