she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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