You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
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