"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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