Dual....:-)
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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