Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
