I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
