The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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