CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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