Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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