Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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