we have officially lost it.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
