How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
