Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
