i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
