Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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