I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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