he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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