nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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