If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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