wrigley field is MILF paradise
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
