and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
